I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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