Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
