About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
