Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Someone signed my nipple.
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