return my video game
That's intense
im having a threesome with these popsicles
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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