Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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