Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dicks are not precious.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
