I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
