Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
