Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
