Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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