Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
