4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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