I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
