she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
