Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
