I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
