Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
