I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
