well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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