Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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