This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
