there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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