U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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