Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize