32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
