Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
