Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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