we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
smell my finger.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
