used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
