at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
