By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
