coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
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