I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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