Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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