so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You are the jesus of drinking
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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