dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
