i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
