Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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