my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
