That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
