Kiss
Puke
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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