What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
this will be a night to untag.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
