I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
