We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
