i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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