five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
As shirtless as possible
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
