Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
