im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
