i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
