Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize