He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
