she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
babies were throwing up all over the place
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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