after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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