go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
