Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
