there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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