Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
