My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize