dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
