If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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